A Common Mistake of Many Writers
A common mistake of many beginning and aspiring writers is using too many words. While it may seem advantageous to paint a picture for your readers; using wordy descriptions isn’t the way to do it. Writers should strive to get their point across in as few words as possible.
Ernest Hemingway said:
“My aim is to put down what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way I can tell it.”
Ernest Hemingway’s reference to telling things the “simplest way” should not be confused with talking down to your reader. Simply put, we should tell our readers in a way they will easily relate to and understand. How can we do this? The best way is through showing our readers, not telling them.
For example, let’s say our character really wants a bagel and coffee from her favorite bakery before heading to work, but they are really busy and the line is long. In our example, let’s assume our goal is to get this information across to our reader, along with our character’s irritation and final decision to stay despite being late for work.
The following paragraph is an example of “telling” our reader what we want them to know:
Leslie walked into the bakery. She was already late for work. There was a long line. This made Leslie irritated and she almost left. She wanted a bagel and a coffee so bad though, that she decided to stay, even if it made her late for work. “Why can’t they just hurry up?” she thought.
This next paragraph is an example of “showing” our reader this same information:
Rushing through the bakery door, Leslie nearly slammed in to the last person in line it was so long. Biting her nails and tapping her foot rapidly, Leslie debated leaving. Mmmm. The smell of poppy seed bagels and fresh brewed coffee sealed her fate; she would be late to work again today.
As you can see, the second example is more effective, along with grabbing and engaging. Showing our reader provokes feeling, paints a picture, and places our reader in the setting with our character. Showing fosters our reader’s imagination. If we tell our reader what to think and how to perceive each situation; what is left for our reader to imagine? Without imagination, our reader can’t place himself in the situations with our characters; and this makes for a very boring read.
Spend some time practicing showing, not telling. Pull out some of your old writings and rewrite them with a goal of showing your reader in any of the places you’ve told your reader what to think or feel. This could make such a marked and impactful difference. You just might end up with a few “like new” articles to submit for publication! And, wouldn’t that be rewarding?
Let me know, in the comments, if you reworked an old piece to show, instead of telling, your reader and, as a result, it was published!